What's wrong with Norway?
by Cherry Flavored Awesome
Summary: Norway turns himself into a chibi, and must go on an epic adventure to find the magical dolphin to reverse it!  Oh this fails...  Slight DenNor. Part one of my "Picking on the Nordics" series.


"… Nice mountain…" Norway thought. He pulled down the hem of his dress a little as he stared up at the massive rock. "Danmark…" He sighed. It was the stupid Dane's idea to dress him in the stupid fluffy purple loli-witch doll's outfit in the fist place. It was a chibi spell gone wrong, horribly wrong that turned him into a chibi in the first place.

It had all happened earlier that morning. Norway had been casting a spell to turn Iceland into a chibi, so he could carry him around with a reason ("You're so small! What if you fall off of something, or Tino and Berwald's dog gets you, or something worse!"). Unfortunately, he had lost focus for too long, resulting in turning himself into a chibi. Not long after, the stupid Dane had come back from his meeting with his boss. Norway was too busy pouting in his now oversized shirt to yell at Denmark for his sharp bark of laughter. (Not so) Luckily for him, Denmark serioused the fuck up, thinking of the same reason that Norway was going to carry around Iceland for.

He opened his mouth to argue with him, but Denmark gently scooped him up and cradled him close, parental instincts kicking in. "What are you doing? Put me down!" Norway berated his boyfriend, but his protests were to no avail. Denmark took him to the room where Norway's dolls were hidden away, and picked out the outfit, and (how embarrassing) dressed Norway in it, complete with a hat, little lacy boots, and gloves.

"Oh, Nor… how'd ya get yourself into this mess?" "Long story, Denmark." And what does Denmark decide to do with him, than sit him in his lap. Not that he really minded it, though that's not the point. Once Nor was sure Den was asleep, he carefully crawled off his lap. "I love you." He softly whispered before scampering off to start his adventure.

And that brought him to where he was now. He now was now seeking out the Master Dolphin, of which he had heard to have lived in The Largest Cave of Mount Everest. "Hmm… maybe I should have brought Denmark… It won't be easy to climb, especially not like this." Norway mused. How lucky he was, he was getting cold in his knee-length dress. The little socks and boots weren't helping very much either. At least the boots were decent in keeping out the cold snow and ice.

Norway sighed. He began his long trek up the mountain. After a few hours, he got incredibly tired, and he was only a fourth way up the mountain. Oh, joy.

He climbed a little higher and rested on a rock he found. Norway sat on a rock and thought about Denmark. He looked out off the mountain at the sunset. Memories of a previous date rushed back to him. He felt he was about to tear up, when suddenly, he started to think about ice-cream and caramel, totally ruining the nostalgic moment. "Mmmmm… sprinkles… delicious sprinkles and caramel… Do want…" But then, he started to think of a certain Dane covered in sprinkles and caramel. He swore he could hear "Come get me, Norge…" on the wind.

"Mmmh… WAIT WHAT?" Norway caught himself starting to drool. "Must stop, stop immediately…" Nor fell asleep on the rock not soon after his train of thought.

Norway woke up the next morning to a beautiful sunrise. He sat up and stretched out. "Nnh… Good morning, De-" Norway stopped dead. Oh. Norway really regretted his decision to not bring Denmark. Now, he was tired, cold, and hungry. Which really wasn't helping the fact that he was lonely without Denmark. Norway sat back down an began to cry. "I-I-I… I MISS YOU, DANMARK!" Norway sobbed.

Just then, a giant crocodile zoomed up. "Hello, Alexander." Norway screamed like the little girly chibi he was. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" "Because I am the Crocodile of Wishes. I heard you sobbing while I was in my Semi-Large Cave, and I felt bad. So, I wished to know your name, and to be able to locate you, and for super-speed." "Ah… really?" "Yes, dear Chibi-Alexander-chan. Now come to my cave. You can warm up with the fire, and then, when you're done, you can make your wishes."

Norway was grateful for the warm fire, and the Crocodile did not bother him until he was done, for he was busy knitting. "Are you done?" the magical crocodile asked. "Yes," "Ah, I do have some saddening news for you." "What?" "I wasted your three wishes on myself, so uh…" "You… what?" "AH! Uhm… Well, the only sensible solution is this."

The Crocodile took the Norwegian boy to the front of the cave and gingerly held him out with his claw. Before he had a chance to question, the Crocodile smacked him with his tail, sending him rocketing upwards. Norway went up a little bit above the peak of the mountain, before landing comfortably in the snow with his itty-bitty-witch-powers (He just realized that the gloves acted like a wand, but he did not harness much control over the gloves.)

Norway burst into tears again at his loss, and also at the fact that he would now have to climb down to get to the Largest Cave of Mount Everest. "D-d-demark…"

Norway began his decent, his still-in-character part of him telling him that it was better to start sooner than later, besides, the sooner he got there, the sooner it was over.

Norway's decent was slow and steady at first, but suddenly, he slipped on a patch of ice. "AASIADSGAHGAAHVGBIWRUGHSNCMZ!" Norway fell down and down, when he suddenly fell right into the Largest Cave of Mount Everest!

He fell through the cave, passing lots of shelves that held various things. There were various pictures of all the nations throughout the years, even present days, the Slavics, the Baltics, the Asians, France, England, and all the once British Colonies, the Africans, the Nordics, the Mediterraneans, any "family" of nations you could think of were there. Also on the shelves were various objects originating from every nation (KOREA). Norway reached out to grab the Æblekage, but slipped and instead grabbed Finland's salammaki. "Eh… I was never much for this." Norway grumbled, throwing it above him.

Eventually, Norway landed in what seemed to be a lake. He floated above the water for a while, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he swam forwards for a while, not seeing anything strange. He stopped short, sensing that something was wrong. Awfully wrong…

"WHELL, HARRO TERE YOUNG WHITCHIE GIRL!" Came a strange accent. Very strange indeed, Nor thought. One minute, it was Kiwi, then it was Chinese, then it was Cajun…

Norway was wondering if this was a dream. He must have been eating chocolate…

Alexander whipped around to see a creepy dolphin with a seemingly photoshopped crown on his head. Oh jeez, maybe he had been taking acid before bed…

"I hunger…" started the Dolphin… "MAKE ME A SAMMICH!" "… Most definitely not." "Whell ten you no get curshe leefted off." Oh, great, now it sounded like the princess from America's movie Avatar… "Why a samwi-" "NAO." "Fine, fine, alright!" Norway swam towards the hole, where he noticed that there was now a rope hanging from it. "Oh, well then." "HAM AND CHEESE, BIATCH!" "OK, OK!" Oh, Denmark, I can't wait to get home to you. I really wish you were here. I promise I won't be mean, or act cold and indifferent for a whole week… Norway mentally told Denmark, imagining that it reached him.

Norway climbed the rope and conveniently found a sandwich around America's stuff. He slid down to the waiting dolphin below, and fed him the sandwich, which he swallowed very quickly. As soon as the dolphin swallowed the sandwich, he was back to normal.

Unfortunately, the witch gear grew with him. The dolphin sent him back up the hole, and onto the top of the mountain. This time, the mountain's snow was pink and fruity! "Oh!" Norway said delighted. Now feeling very VERY out of character. He began to giggle, being the 10-year-old girl hidden inside of him. The skies were soft pink, and the clouds were gentle shades of blue and yellow, and seemed like cotton candy. The sun looked very lemon-y, and on the other side of the sky the moon was a velvety white chocolate. The rocks were of pure sugar, and the branches were candy canes. Norway was swept away by the rush of pink snow, and carried onto the clouds, which carried him back to the city of Copenhagen and to the house he shared with Denmark.

Norway silently opened his front door, with his bright smile on his face. He missed home, after being gone at least 3 days. He missed warmth. Most of all, he missed Denmark.

Norway tiptoed into the living room, only to find Denmark crying his eyes out while clutching Nor's shirt, "Mathias?" he whispered. Denmark looked up in shock. "ALEXANDER!" Denmark was clutching him in no time. Suddenly, Norway felt warm all over. "Wh-where?" "You'd never believe me… or you'd say I was on acid."

Norway looked up at Denmark and smiled his brightest. Denmark smiled right back. Suddenly, Iceland's puffin flew in the room with a bomb strapped to its chest. Iceland was heard laughing maniacally outside. "WHAT THE-" Denmark and Norway started, but it was too late.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Norway screamed, shooting up from his pillow. Denmark was up right after him. "What's wrong Norge?" "It's nothing." "Oh?" Norway cracked under Denmark's stare and told him the entire dream from beginning to end. "Ah. I see. Well, no more chocolate for you before bed." Denmark stated. "But I-" Denmark forced his down onto the pillow and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Sleep."

* * *

**Ok, so I really fail at this. It was supposed to be humor. But instead, I get an unfunny and horrifying acid story. This is what I get for listening to Owl City while attempting crack. This is really only funny when you're high on weed. **

**BTW, this was a challenge between 2 other friends to see who could be the funniest. I'm so loosing. **

**Flame all you want. I'd understand if you hate this story.**

**But on a brighter subject, I have really awesome teachers this year!**

**Also note: I don't mean any harm by the dolphin's accents. I'm really not sure what a dolphin would speak like, but please note that I don't mean to be racist.  
**


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